


Closer

by Sega64



Category: Sastiel - Fandom, Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bunker Sex, Castiel Misses Dean, Comfort Sex, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sam Misses Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 09:05:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4174035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sega64/pseuds/Sega64
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean has been missing for a while now and Sam and Castiel are no closer to finding him. Both miss him deeply, and subtle reminders- his eyes, his scent- bring the younger hunter and former angel closer, finding comfort in each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Closer

**Author's Note:**

> So, i got this small idea and i suddenly liked the idea of Sam and Castiel together- even if only temporarily. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated and welcome, and positive comments give me the courage to keep writing. so, yeah! Hope you enjoy!
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to my wonderful beta Corbella0417!

This day was not unlike any of the previous days within the past few months. Sam still hunted while looking for clues about his brother's whereabouts. Castiel still searched for information on how to get his grace back while looking for clues about the elder hunter's whereabouts. But mostly, both men just ached. Sam ached for the company of his brother and the guilt of feeling he had failed him again. Castiel ached for the soul he raised from perdition, the soul he fell in love with and the body he wanted to hold within his arms again and never let go.

However, the pain of the hunter's absence was somehow amplified by the mere fact that today was Dean Winchester's birthday.

"Hello, Sam," Castiel's rough voice came over the line followed by a coughing fit. The former angel's health was deteriorating by the day and Sam was growing increasingly concerned.

"Hey, Cas. How you holding up?" At this point, Sam no longer knew whether Castiel's condition should take precedence over locating his brother. He felt that if he chose one over the other, the latter would be lost forever. He cared for Castiel truly- hell, he loved him and considered him closer to him than he had ever considered anyone aside from Dean and Bobby- but nothing and no one could replace his brother. He hated having this weight in his heart, especially because he knew how his brother felt about their friend.

Sam had known for a long time how his brother felt about the celestial being. He saw it in the way he stared into those angelic blue eyes, and in the way he watched him when Castiel was distracted with attempting to comprehend something and curiosity took over his features. It was obvious in the way Dean brought Castiel up at random in conversation or lack there of, and in the way his voice and tone would soften ever so slightly when he did so, no matter how upset he may be in the moment. Sam saw it in the way that over time, Dean had waited longer and longer to remind the angel of personal space, and in the way that Dean had begun to invade Castiel's personal space himself, and in how he would make excuse for subtle touches before moving away. But it was all set out in the open the night Dean finally went to his younger brother, upset over recent events and slightly tipsy, and confessed his feeling for Castiel.

Sam had sat quietly, patiently, while Dean unloaded everything he already knew on him. His brother needed this, needed the time to get everything off his chest, even if it meant repeating the same thing over and over again in a variety of different ways. It did not matter how he said everything he did, it all conveyed the same message: "I'm in love with Cas."

"You should tell him," were Sam's words once Dean had stopped speaking.

Dean looked up at him with glassy eyes from where he was at the edge of the twin adjacent to his brother's in the ratty motel room. "What would be the point? A: he's a freakin' angel and I'm just a human unworthy of his time. B: One or both of us is going to wind up dying any day now. There would be no point in bringing anything to light now. And C: Even if he did feel something for me, when has a relationship ever turned out well for either of us?" Dean counted off each point on his fingers as he named them. "No. Telling him anything would be stupid and useless. We've got other things to worry about."

Sam nodded his head in silent, somber agreement. He still believed Dean should admit to how he felt, but he also could not validly argue against his reasoning. If the way Sam caught Castiel looking at Dean when he thought no one was looking was anything to go by, he knew the angel had to reciprocate Dean's feelings. It was not his place to say anything though. They needed to hear it from each other. They would have to fix what was going on and then Sam could maybe nudge his brother in the right direction. At least one of them deserved to be happy.

"But promise me something," Dean's voice wavered. "Promise me that no matter what happens to-" his words caught in his throat and he swallowed. "Promise you'll be there for Cas. No matter what, don't ever leave him."

Sam saw the fear and love in his brother's eyes. "I promise, Dean."

~~

"I'm fine. I'm en route now and should be arriving within a couple more hours," Castiel responded.

"Alright, I'll wait for you there."

Sam and Castiel had decided to meet up and share whatever information they had not already exchanged. Then they would just… what? Mourn? Was that what they were doing? Though neither of them flat out said it, they both knew they would be meeting because it was Dean's birthday. Was this some sort of memorial thing they were doing? Dean was not even dead, right? He had left a note. Sam sighed heavily and let his eyes fall closed and his head roll back. After a few moments, he straightened up in the driver's seat of the Impala and turned the keys in the ignition and he was on his way.

An hour and a half later found him back at the bunker, waiting for Castiel to arrive. He grabbed a glass and filled it with amber liquid, wondering if it would be ok to start without the angel. He stared at the glass in his hand and just as he decided he would just have the one and then wait for Castiel to arrive, the bunker door creaked open loudly. Castiel stepped in and Sam set his glass down, filling a second and raising it to Castiel as he drew nearer to the map tabletop where he sat.

Without a word from either, Castiel took it, and with a small clink, they each shot the drink back, feeling it burn.

Castiel sat down and they began discussing things at length- theories and speculations all rolled together with the facts they knew. After a little over a couple hours, Castiel stood at Sam's side, hunched slightly over him as he looked over his shoulder at some papers with a list of names and locations he felt they should check out.

Sam did not know how they were still functioning. Since the moment Castiel had stepped through the door, they had imbibed enough that he could feel Castiel sway middy beside him. "D'you wanna sit down, Cas?" He asked, turning his face to look at him.

Castiel's face was only inches from Sam's and he turned to stare back at him with unfocused eyes. "Perhaps that would be wise," he said after taking a moment to consider this.

However, Castiel remained standing for another few seconds just staring into Sam's hazel eyes. He finally looked away and dropped into his seat. "You're eyes remind me of his," he said quietly, raising his vision back up to Sam.

Sam did not know what to say, just looked down sadly, resting his elbows on the table and held one fisted hand in the other by his face.

"They're very different, except… they hold that same intensity. Telling the story of a man who has had to face so many more evils in his lifetime than should be permissible without going insane. And yet you want to keep fighting, holding onto hope even if it means relinquishing any chance you may have at a good and happy life. A normal life. A full life." The was a few moments of silence and then Castiel was on Sam's shoulder. "I am not sorry for raising you brother from hell, but I am so sorry, Sam- I regret so many things that have transpired since. I have failed you and your brother so many times, and-" his gripped tightened on Sam. "and now Dean is gone again."

Sam sighed and turned to look at his friend and maybe offer some words of condolence, but he saw that the angel who was normally so stoic was now shedding silent tears. Sam felt a tightness in his chest and he stood, leaning down and wrapping his arms around the angel. "Shhh, it's ok, Cas," he said quietly when he heard him sniffle against his chest. "We've all made some really stupid mistakes and I'm sure we're gonna keep making 'em. We just gotta fix them and do our best to learn from them." Was this really supposed to make either one of them feel better? Sam did not know but he did not know what else to say. He felt Castiel's arms come and around him.

"We have to find him, Sam."

"We will, Cas. We will." Sam had hugged Castiel before, but this time was different. This time it was for comfort and Castiel was clinging to him, body trembling, tears cascading down his cheeks and soaking into Sam's shirt. And it was easy for Sam to see what Dean saw in the angel. He cared so deeply and had fallen so far from Heaven just to be with them, just to help them with whatever they needed. He had abandoned eons of righteous beliefs and work with his brothers and sisters to be at the disposal of the infamous Winchesters. He was good and pure despite everything, his intentions always loving and faithful. Sam held onto Castiel, wishing so badly that Dean could have his happiness with him, wishing that Castiel could one day feel the love his brother had to offer him.

Castiel and Sam stayed like that for several minutes, only briefly letting go once to pull Sam's chair closer so that he could sit and be more comfortable, just holding each other in silence. Sam nuzzled his face in Castiel's hair, breathing him in without giving it any thought. He smelled like sage and lavender along with something familiar… sandalwood? He moved in closer, nose to the skin of Castiel's neck, and inhaled again. He heard Castiel take a small, sharp intake of air and arch slightly into him. "Sorry," Sam said, loosening his hold on the other man and giving him room to back away if he chose. "You just kind of smell like him."

"So do you," Castiel nuzzled his face in the hair that fell on Sam's cheek. "I may have taken a towel from Dean's bedroom… and I may have slept with it close to me. Is that pathetic? It was comforting… like this is right now." Castiel spoke softly, cupping Sam's face in one hand and pulling back to look into his eyes again.

Castiel swiped a thumb against his cheek, wiping away a tear and Sam did not know when it had escaped him. "I don't think it's pathetic," came Sam's almost inaudible response as he stared back. "I miss him too."

"I never got to tell him, Sam."

"What?" But Sam knew what. He wanted to hear it, to know that his brother's feelings were not one sided.

Their faces drew closer and Castiel glanced at Sam's lips. "Sam, I loved him."

"You love him," Sam corrected, and Castiel nodded subtly. "I know," he whispered against Castiel's lips. He did not know why he was allowing this to happen. Maybe it was a way for him to feel closer to his brother, taking comfort from the man his brother should have been with. Maybe he was just a selfish jerk and was taking advantage of his friend's vulnerability to find solace. When his lips pressed against Castiel's and his eyes fell shut, he felt like he wanted to cry, though he would not know whether to attribute it to feeling like he was betraying his brother or because something about it felt truly good and right. _This should be Dean's kiss_ , he thought as he felt Castiel pull him in closer.

Castiel knew Sam would not replace Dean, and that was not what he was seeking. He did not know what was happening in this moment, but he wanted it, needed the comfort Sam had to offer. He needed to feel close to his lost hunter if even just for a moment like this. Just once, because he did not know if he would ever get it again even if they did find him.

Castiel kissed Sam again and again, and then swiped his tongue across his lips asking for more. Sam obliged and opened his mouth and they were tasting each other. It was a tender kiss that turned heated, Castiel's hands coming up into Sam's hair, and Sam's hands gripping at Castiel's back, pulling at him. Castiel was up and crowding over Sam, trying to get onto his lap, but the damn arms of the chair made it practically impossible without hurting himself. He put one knee to the side of Sam's thigh on the chair instead, just leaning over him as he continued kissing him. The sensation of Sam's fingers trailing up his back under his shirt made goosebumps break out over his skin and he moved his kisses over Sam's neck, nipping lightly.

Sam stood then, bringing Castiel up to stand with him and grabbing Castiel's coat, pulling it down and off his shoulders. They continued to undress one another right there, hands caressing, lips kissing, mouths tasting. Sam took hold of Castiel's erection and gave it a small squeeze before swiping his thumb over the slit and using the precum to begin stroking him slowly. Castiel moaned into Sam's shoulder, a hand at Sam's arm and the other at his hip, unsure. Sam put a finger to Castiel's chin, tilting his head up and kissing him again as Castiel gave another breathy moan into his mouth.

Castiel may not be very experienced, but he knew enough. He knew what he had fantasized doing to Dean. He trailed kisses along Sam's jaw and neck, and then moved down along his chest and stomach. He looked up at Sam, seeking approval and getting it from the look of desire in his eyes.

Castiel was on his knees, eyes on Sam's hard length in his hand. Sam's fingers ran through his dark hair, bringing his attention back up. "Cas, you don't have to."

Without his eyes leaving Sam's, Castiel licked up the precum leaking from Sam's cock. Sam groaned, his eyes shutting as Castiel continued to lap along the length of his shaft. He curled his tongue around it as he took it into his mouth and he felt Sam's grip tighten in his hair briefly before relaxing and he figured Sam was also uncertain at what he could handle and did not want to hurt him. He began to bob his head up and down, pumping him in time with one hand and holding onto his hip with the other. The pleased sounds coming from Sam made him feel good and he could not help but wonder how Dean would have sounded, what he would have liked.

Sam brought a hand down and tugged at his balls. The wet heat of Castiel's mouth was good and he had to lean back against the table to keep upright. Castiel hummed and Sam felt it reverberate through him, moaning a little louder into the otherwise quiet of the bunker. His hand cupped the back of Castiel's head, moving with him, pushing him a little further. "Cas…" he breathed. "Cas, wait," he pulled on Castiel's hair, the angel's head tilting back to look at him and his cock slipping from his lips with a small pop. He thought Castiel looked good like this, face lightly flushed, lips swollen, eyes hooded looking up at him. He had Castiel stand and they held each other again, kissing, Castiel's fingers digging into Sam's back, desperate for him.

Sam turned Castiel around and leaned him over the table slightly. Sam licked his fingers, trying to wet them as much as possible with his saliva. Neither of them had expected any of this, so neither man was prepared. They would have to be careful and make do. He leaned over Castiel and bit at his shoulder, earning a small gasp from him. He kissed him there and then nuzzled his nose in his hair and nape of his neck, kissing him more. He smoothed a soothing hand down Castiel's back. "I'll go slow," he whispered in the angel's ear as his fingers slipped between his cheeks, teasing at the tight hole. "You tell me if you want to stop."

Castiel nodded and Sam proceeded. He reached around, taking Castiel's cock in hand as he pushed a finger passed the tight ring of muscle. Though Sam's hand pumping his cock did help, Castiel hissed at the burn, feeling it regardless. Castiel's fingers grasped at nothing against the glassy surface of the table. After a few moments of Sam moving a finger in and out of him, he added another and he stretched him slowly. Castiel was panting softly and thought it was starting to feel good, and then Sam turned his hand and crooked his fingers, rubbing against Castiel's prostate. He gave surprised yelp and pushed back automatically on Sam's fingers.

Sam smiled against sweat dampened skin and after a few more strokes, added another finger, rubbing that spot again every few passes. Castiel was pushing against him, asking for more between breathy moans and words in Enochian unknown to Sam. Sam slipped his fingers back out and he heard Castiel whine, pushing back and trying to follow his fingers.

"Please, Sam," he looked over his shoulder.

"Shh, it's alright. I got you." Sam slicked up his own cock with more spit and lined himself, the head pressed against Castiel. "Ready?"

Castiel nodded, "Please," he repeated.

Sam held Castiel's hip and pushed in slowly, carefully, inch by inch. When he was half way, Castiel suddenly reached back, holding Sam's hip in a tight grip and shoving himself back on him the rest of the way. Sam gasped and his hand grasped firmly at Castiel's arm. "Fuck, Cas," Sam breathed.

"More, Sam. Now," Castiel ground his hips against him.

Sam reached forward to Castiel's hand on the table, placing his hand on top and interlacing their fingers. He pulled out almost all the way and then pushed back in hard. Castiel inhaled sharply and Sam did it again. He pounded into him and Castiel slumped forward more and more until his head rested on his hands on the tabletop. He cried out when Sam shifted and began hitting that sweet spot with every thrust. Their heavy breathing and loud moans seemed to fill the room along with the sound of skin slapping against skin. Sam wrapped an arm around Castiel's chest and brought him up again to almost standing as he continued to thrust in and out of him. He took Castiel's hand and brought it to his neglected cock and together they stroked.

Castiel turned his head and they kissed sloppily. Sam moved his kissing behind his ear and down his neck, tasting the salty sweat on his tongue. Castiel reached back, his fingers carded and wrapped in his sweat damp hair, tugging gently. He was getting close. "Dean loves you too," Sam whispered in Castiel's ear and he felt Castiel tense slightly, but he continued. "He loves you so much, Cas. I know he does. He told me. He wants you. Wants you so bad."

And Castiel threw his head back as cried out when he was hit with such an intense orgasm, Sam had to hold him tightly. White ropes spurted across the glass table and his muscles tightened around Sam, bringing him over as well. Castiel could feel the warmth of Sam's cum fill him as they rode out their climax together. Sam placed tiny kisses at his shoulder again and Castiel leaned his head back against him, trying to catch his breath. He let go of Castiel, slipping out of him, and Castiel could feel his cum begin to spill out of him and run down his leg. He turned and Sam enveloped him in another embrace and he could feel his heart beat.

After a few moments, they went to Sam's room and grabbed what they would need for a shower. Sam had intended on going in on his own, but one look at the somber look on the angel's face and he found himself asking if he wanted to join him. They showered together and ended up needing to clean up a second time after having sex for a second time- this time with Sam holding Castiel up against the wall with his legs wrapped around Sam, and Castiel's cum coating their stomachs when he came.

They dressed and Castiel laid in Sam's bed without invitation. Neither of them knew what this was, but they knew it was temporary. Something to stave off the pain and mask the reality of the situation. Sam listened to Castiel's breathing even out as he fell asleep in his arms. He looked much more peaceful, but there was still a tinge of concern in his features, even as he slept. He kissed Castiel's forehead and the subtle wrinkling of his brow smoothed out. Sam swore they would find his brother again. He would deal with the repercussions of their actions tonight then.


End file.
